10 Differences Between Being In Love and Being Attached To Someone

May 5, 2018

When we are in a relationship, we tend to feel that the relationship is based on love. But, this is not necessarily the case in every relationship, because not everyone you feel close to, truly loves you. Chances are that there is only attachment from their side, or maybe even from your side.

We all need to clearly understand the differences between being in love and just being attached to someone to really know the depth of our relationships. Keeping that in mind, we have created a list for you where you will get to know the differences between love and attachment:

1.Love is selfless; attachment is selfish

When we truly love someone, we think of their happiness more than our own happiness. Love is that feeling in which your happiness is just in the happiness of the other person and for this you are ready to do everything.

Whereas, when you are attached to someone you will only see your happiness even if that hinders the true happiness of the other person in the relationship. You are only concerned about your needs and wants in this kind of a relationship.

2.Love is pure passion; attachment settles for a relationship without a desire

In true love, one feels complete with the partner as they are passionately together. But, in attachment people only try to feel needed by someone, even if there is nothing in common between the two of them. There is no desire to be together, instead there is that fear of being alone, which makes you stay in that loveless relationship.

3.Love is liberating, attachment is controlling

When you love someone, you give full freedom to the person because your relationship is based on trust. But, that is not the case in attachment as partners know in their hearts that they don’t really love each other and are just scared of losing the other person. This makes them want to control the life of their partner, which in turn destroys the relationship.

4.Love is forever, attachment is transient

True love has that power that it can survive the passage of time. When a relationship is based on love, nothing can break a couple. But even if you break-up, you always have a special place for them in your heart and wish them well. This just doesn’t happen when there is only attachment. After a break-up you feel betrayed and even hold a grudge against them.

5.Love is growing, attachment is encumbering

In love, you and your partner grow together to become the best versions of yourselves. Both of you stimulate each other’s growth.

In case of attachment, there is an urge to control the other person. You just feel dependent on them and are not able to solve your own problems, which also restricts the growth of the other person in the relationship.

6.Love is difficult; attachment is light

When you part ways from a person you were in love with, you are left with a heaviness and deep sadness in your heart. But this doesn’t happen in attachment as you don’t really feel pain. You are able to move-on faster from a relationship in which only attachment was there.

7.Love is supportive; attachment is constrictive

When we love someone, their wishes and dreams become our own and we help them in every way possible so that they reach their goals. In attachment, such feelings never come up because people don’t really open up and try to remain in a box where they just don’t like interference from any person.

8.Love is complex; attachment is easy

Lovers face all the hardships of life together. Their love for each other only makes them stronger. In attachment, people try to run away when they face a problem. They don’t feel the need to stay with each other in difficult times.

9.Love is ego-reducing; attachment is ego-boosting

Love makes us less self-centered. We become much more loving and positive in life and all these changes are fuelled by that special someone. You are also able to share all your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, which helps you grow as a person.

But, attachments are based on ego and that is why most people tend to keep falling in unsatisfying relationships over and over again. You are not able to look within, to solve your problems and this makes you dependent on the other person.

10.Love simply makes you happy!

Everything that you feel when you are in love makes you happy from within. You are content with your life because with them you are what you are. They embrace you with a love so deep that nothing can compare to that feeling and all you think about is how you can spend the rest of your life with them.

Whereas in an attachment, you are always doubtful whether they like you or not, whether they will be loyal or not and many such thoughts. You are just not sure about them either and such a feeling can never make a person claiming to be in a relationship happy. Love is supposed to make you feel magical, and you should not settle for anything less than that!